Liberty Christian School Blog

When unexpected, troubling events happen on the worldwide stage like the collapse of NFL player Damar Hamlin, the community often coalesces around a response. In this instance, thankfully, we’ve seen and heard numerous people from ESPN commentators to Facebook friends offer prayers on his behalf. What a wonderful outpouring and what great news that he is already home from the hospital and testifying to the blessings of God!

How can we encourage our kids, when presented with this example, to develop the lifelong practice of prayer?

1. Let your child be aware of situations for which they can pray. They can be vital participants! Consider Jesus’ inclusion of children, “Let the little ones come to me.” (Matthew 19:14) Lead your children in the confidence that they matter to the Lord. So do their prayers! It is so important for them to know that "the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

2. Make prayer a part of your daily routine, then allow your child to take part in it. Have them join you in prayer. An acronym that can easily direct prayer is ACTS:

Adoration- Remember and profess who God is: Creator, Redeemer, Life-giver, Provider, and other praiseworthy attributes! Take this moment to direct your thoughts to whom you’re talking.

Confession- Tell God where you fall short, even the lack of faith to know He’s working in the very situation for which you’re praying!

Thanksgiving- Remember His past faithfulness, His presence in times of trouble and joy, His leadership in moments of decision, His way of working things for good, or even His desire to involve you in His work by prayer!

Supplication- Present your needs and the needs of others. Remind your children to humbly cast their cares/worries/anxiety on the Lord. Why? Because He cares for them. (1 Peter 5:6-7)

3. Give your child a role in prayer. Encourage them to take turns saying prayers at family meal times or before bed. Use natural times like these to entrust them with their participation.

4. Give your child a prayer book or journal. This can help them express their thoughts and feelings in prayer.

5. Remind them that prayer is an ongoing conversation with God. Adopt the “See Something, Say Something” approach. When you see an ambulance with lights flashing, or a plume of smoke from a house fire, your first response is to say something to the Lord about the situation. Prayer never has to be a fancy, poetry-like expression, although those are wonderful as well. Prayer is the connection between the created and Creator!

As parents, we are often baffled at the response of our kids. They can exhibit such great faith! What a privilege it is to model an attitude of prayer, an expectation of God at work, and a deep dependence on God's provision. As we help in the molding of their faith, may ours be grown as well!

In the comments, let us know if you have other helpful ideas to encourage your kids to connect with the Lord through prayer.

       I sat parked in my car near the lake, watching the water while trying to shut down thoughts about the “problem of the day.” I didn’t want anything or any power to distract me from missing what God had for me in the present moment. And then I saw him. At first there were two and I had been watching them play without REALLY noticing them, without REALLY seeing them. He was just a little squirrel, plump and playful, in the leaves. Squirrels love to find treasures. They will work very hard to reach their treasure only to bury it and forget it. Yet God cares for that forgetful little creature.

       How squirrel- like I can be at times? I run in five different directions trying to store up all that I think my children will need... only to bury it. We buy that game, but we bury it because we don’t have time to play it. 

We see our child’s talent, but we bury it because we don’t know how to support it. We give our children all the right tools, but they too end up buried. Simply because we don’t know how to teach our kids how to build the Godly character they will need to use those tools, without the support of a community. We work hard to get all the right material items and sign up for all the right activities. Still we aren’t perfect parents and we don’t always feel like we have the time or support needed to do all of the things we think our children need, and we bury it. I thought about how God cared for that little squirrel and Matthew 6 came to me:

 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” 

Suddenly I could hear the birds chirping and I felt embraced by God’s promises.  Why then do I worry about storing up riches? Why do I squirm around like a squirrel burying treasures for my children that we will soon forget?  I don’t know about you, but I don’t want my children’s inheritance in my squirrel-like hands. No much better that they, like their inheritance, are in God’s hands. Of course I want to give my children good gifts, but I don’t need to worry about what they will lack or who they will lean on. I don’t have to worry about them having the best clothes or a trust fund to draw from. The Lord goes with them. He will provide for them. I’m grateful that God sees my squirrel-like hands and looks on them with love. He takes them in His powerful hands and whispers “You can trust me to take care of your children, for I made them and loved them before they were born.”

      Through faith in the hands of God, I can give my children the gift of learning to trust Him. Learning To Lean on Him.  So, I can loosen my squirrel-like grip on the buried treasures of  the top ten summer camp sign ups, posh playdates, and world class vacations. 

 I can shift my gaze to the One who made my children and thank Him for teaching them His word through their Christian  education. I can store up the treasures of hearing my children speak about the Lord’s plan for their life with confidence. I can store up the treasures of hearing my children pray through their problems and love others like Jesus. These treasures are stored in the eternal home of my children’s hearts. And that heavenly treasure won’t be lost among the squirrel treasures here on earth. Every moment of time I invest in pointing my children toward Jesus is stored up, and I am so glad I don’t have to do it on my own. The Lord works through his people in the Christian community and Christian education to help me when my squirrely hands need a helping hand. 

According the the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), 40 million adults in America suffer with a form of anxiety. Children are not immune to anxiety, although they may have a hard time labeling what they are feeling.  

Is your child stressed out or anxious? Do they dread going to certain places? Do they procrastinate, or have nervous habits, or get stomachaches?  Do they resist activities by acting up? Do they focus only on the negative and what might go wrong? These are all signs of anxiety.

How can we as parents help our children through this?

First, be compassionate. If you have ever felt nervous about something you can identify with what your child is feeling.  Even though our kids’ anxiety sometimes comes up in the most inconvenient ways (nausea, avoidance behavior, last minute crises), we need to take a step back and remember that parents are the protectors of children. We also, in a sense, represent the Lord to our kids.  We are their first mentors and disciplers. So, even if we are worried about getting to work late, having a mess on our hands, or embarrassment, we also need to consider the experience that our child is having in this moment. We must pray for wisdom: does this child need “tough love” right now to push through -- or a timeout and a listening ear?  Most likely they need our reassurance, but we should not dismiss their fears.  It can be a tricky balance.

Second, empower the child.  Anxiety is not alway as simple as “mind over matter,” but sometimes mental tools and strategies can be helpful. Encourage your child to do their best and focus on the positives.  Remind them that you will be here for them no matter what. If they are worried about their performance, walk them through what “doing your best” will look like.  For example, there is only one winner in a race, but the rest of the runners are still successful and accomplished if they have trained, practice, and persevered. They have overcome their own obstacles and perhaps beaten their own records. This is worth celebrating!  While you are giving your child this pep talk, check your own motives. Have you been pressuring your child to perform, compete, dominate?  If so, pray and surrender your child’s future to the Lord once again.

If you have techniques that help you when you are anxious, share them with your child.  Simple things like taking a deep breath, repeating a calming phrase or verse, or distracting yourself from obsessive thoughts can be helpful.  They may sound simple, but they are not necessarily things that a child would come up with on their own.  Practice them together until they can do them independently.

Third, talk to their teachers. Explain the strategies you are using, so that your teacher can reinforce them and possibly report back to you any progress or problems. This can create a positive cycle of improvement, or at least provide you with more information that you can use as you go to the next step.

If these changes in approach do not seem to bring any results, you might consider therapy. Child therapists, using play therapy or therapy animals, can get your child to reveal the troubling thoughts they haven’t mentioned to you.  Sometimes it is surprising, such as a bad dream they didn’t even want to revisit, or an experience that they didn’t want to relive. Once they speak about it, the therapist and parents can address the issue.  

Therapists can also help you identify when your child may need some further help such as medicine.  Some forms of anxiety are more deep-seated and beyond the realm of behavioral therapy.  Naturopaths might help you consider helpful modifications to your child’s diet, or ways your child get better sleep.

When you see signs of stress and anxiety in your child, do not ignore it, hoping it will go away.  Talk to other adults in their life to see what may be causing it, and be your child’s closest advocate. Having the support of family goes a long way toward healing.

For more helpful information see:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/renee-jain/9-things-every-parent-with-an-anxious-child-should-try_b_5651006.html

https://adaa.org/tips-manage-anxiety-and-stress

Should I moderate my child’s screen time?  If so, how can I place limits on my child’s screen time?  These are the questions that linger in every parent’s mind as we go through our hectic days.  We see our kids looking at screens, and we may not always have time to look over their shoulders. But we also have the unique role of seeing their hearts and the fruit of what’s going on in their hearts.

Why moderate screen time?

 In kids and adults, online activities can affect the way a person’s brain works. If we are constantly getting pop-up notifications, for example, our brains adapt to this norm and it becomes difficult for us to focus on a singular task for very long even when we want to.  We find ourselves interrupting our tasks with unnecessary distractions because that is how we are accustomed to operating. With this in mind, it would be wise for the entire family to set some boundaries on how electronics, email, social media, and games are used--for emotional and spiritual health.  You can even hold one another accountable to the guidelines you set together.

A recent study shows that a reasonable amount of screen time can actually be healthy for teens.  Researchers in the UK analyzed data that measured the screen time and well-being of just over 120,000 15-year-olds. They found that there was no direct link between screen time and well-being, but that those who used electronics more than a certain amount did experience decreased well-being. To be specific, on average, the teens' well-being peaked at “about 1 hours and 40 minutes of video-game play, about 1 hour 57 minutes of smartphone use, about 3 hours and 41 minutes of watching videos, and about 4 hours and 17 minutes of using computers.”  Any more than that, and the numbers trended toward unhappiness.

There are no magic (or even scientific) formulas to use, for your child is unique and wonderfully made by God. Beyond statistics, the bottom line is that as parents, you know your child’s heart and habits. You are in a position to observe whether screen time is making your child happy or sad, fulfilled or frustrated. There are so many factors to consider and ultimately, you want to encourage activities that enrich their life,and steer them away from those things that spawn dissatisfaction.

Avoiding negative screen time

If you identify a form of “screen time” that seems to be detrimental for your child (e.g., social media that leads to feeling left out, or a video game causing frustration), talk to them about it; help your child form their own conclusions about how to avoid it. Try to frame it in a positive, self-care context. This will be good for them now and in the future. If your child doesn’t choose to avoid it, you have the authority to place limits on their interaction with it. Or you can offer substitute forms of social interaction,entertainment, or whatever they are getting out of it.

Moderating positive screen time.

For any form of “screen time” that seems to make your child happy (e.g., chatting with good friends or building in Minecraft), it is still wise to encourage a time limit. Some clear-cut ways to set limits on screen time include the following:

• Allow “unlimited” screen time, but only after homework and chores are done.
• Allow screen time only on weekends.
• Allow only 30 minutes of screen time after school, as a little break before homework.
• Allow screen time only when you are present to supervise or be involved.
• Allow as much screen time as your child “earns” by doing specific chores with specific values set for each chore.

During any allotted screen time, you will still want to be sure that your child spends it on something that is edifying for them!

Limiting Websites.

If your child has access to the internet, consider using an app that can help you supervise what your child is doing online. Covenant Eyes and Disney Circle are two examples of products that you can use to filter and/or review what your child sees online. One mother told me recently that her daughter comes to her with questions instead of Googling things because she knows her Mom sees every site she visits. This has led to good conversations and more engagement that they may not have had. Now that’s a win-win!